Blessings of a Mentor... *sigh*

I'm just sitting her on a drizzly, overcast Sunday afternoon, contemplating the blessings of being a midwifery mentor.

Not all the blessings are good ones, mind you, but in giving them serious consideration, even significant struggles are blessings in disguise. The struggles that come with being hard on and critical of an apprentice, for example, or calling her on a poor decision she has made, or having to even reprimand her because of unprofessional conduct, are difficult to wade through and beyond, yet they challenge me to be consistent, a good example, and both fair and stoic in my role.

Midwifery apprenticeships are not just about completing the clinical, hands-on training and experience ("getting one's numbers"), but more so about how to "BE" a professional midwife: How to talk to clients, how to counsel them, how to filter what you say, how to think critically and act succinctly, what to do and when, when to do and not do, how to direct clients and when, how to advocate and educate...

I am blessed by watching an apprentice's eyes well with tears, realizing that catching babies is truly her calling. And another's eyes glisten and light-up at the invitation to enter into training with me. My own eyes fill when I am aware of one who is struggling, faltering in her actions, and disillusioned. Blessed still to be the one she looks to for critique, for direction, for help. And I sigh.

The mentor midwife is looked up to and admired, and yet we are only human. We make mistakes, we are defensive of our practice like a mother bear to her cub, we seek after a level of accomplishment in our work that is sometimes unreachable, and we dream, dreams.

My work as a mentor gives me great joy and sorrow. I have to be hard and I have to be a friend; and mostly I have to be available... which, is sometimes, the hardest of all. I am the nurturer to so many, and nurtured by few. Mind you, this is not a pity party session... just the hard truth. And my blessing.